never giving in since 1974

The rescue chemo held back the tumor for a week, but it raged back, growing to three times its size in two weeks. It took his ability to eat, to enjoy being touched, to breathe comfortably. He left us when he knew we were taken care of, when Derek assured him that he would be okay without his little boy. He left us quietly, gently, with the dignity that he always embodied.

Our story.
A eulogy.

We’re exhausted and so very sad. But. We have the peace of knowing we did everything we could. We have Lanty’s love, forever.

Bad news today. Feeling sort of horrible and exhausted and uncomprehending. The last being ridiculous because it’s not like we didn’t know this was coming. Especially after the recurrence of the cancer in January.

But, oh, that does not make it one bit easier. Not one bit.

Life is a merry-go-round.  Like the kind where you get on, chose the perfect horse, and start spinning, only to realize that you’ve had three sticks of cotton candy, ice cream, AND all those nachos, and while they were all delightful going down, they won’t be at all fun coming back up which is exactly what’s going to happen in a few moments.

Life is sort of like that.

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Lanty came home today. Check out my post at Lanty’s Log.

So, if you haven’t already heard, our Lanty has cancer. A cute little post-script to last week’s ranting.

He had exploratory surgery today. It was complicated. He’s still with us, and we saw him post-op – he was really bright and happy which was so great.

The tumor is a mess and we opted to halt resection (removal) today because there was a 50/50 chance he wouldn’t make it. We couldn’t take that chance until we get the biopsies back and know if it is carcinoma (in which case resection is the only option) or lymphoma, which might respond to chemo. The biopsies will take 3-5 days.

Chances that the ugly tumor is lymphoma are slim. Very slim.

I’d love to sum this all up with some wise words about the circle of life or savoring the time you have or something but, here I am. He’s just such a cool cat.

Such a cool cat.

ps. you can follow our progress at Twitter: twitter.com/lantycat

Monday was bad.

Bad.

I kept both Darling and myself up for a large portion of the night with my hacking and wheezing, so as soon as the sun was up, he proposed my going to the doctor like, now. That sweet man even called and scheduled an appointment for me – that’s what a honey he is. So, I ran off to clinic bright and early with hopes of antibiotics dancing in my head, only to learn that it was viral.
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Scenes from my weekend:

Mom’s cat Luna & Kokoro, hashing it out.

Me & Rigor

I can say, with little hesitation, that I’ve just had one of the best weekends of my life. Right now, only the weekend of my wedding stands out as as moving, as heartfelt, as significant.
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