nobody’s fool since 1974

Drink a toast to the Norwegian Royal Family today, and to my dear Norge friend, J.

Here’s what I programmed on my iPod’s On The Go playlist the day I gave notice:

Whip It – Devo
Respect – Aretha Franklin
Brass in Pocket – The Pretenders
Circle Sky (live version) – The Monkees
For Once In My Life – Stevie Wonder
Goin’ Down – The Monkees
I Get Knocked Down – Chumbawamba
More – Bobby Darin
Come On Eileen – Dexy’s Midnight Runners
That’s The Way (I Like It) – K.C. and the Sunshine Band
Lights Out – Lisa Marie Presley
S.O.B. – Lisa Marie Presley
Cherub Rock – Smashing Pumpkins
Tear Me Down – Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Long Title: Do I Have To Do This All Over Again – The Monkees
Innocence – Kirsty MacColl
The Ugly Truth – Matthew Sweet
Universal Appeal – The Misfits
Does He Love You? – Rilo Kiley
Portions For Foxes – Rilo Kiley
Hummer – Smashing Pumpkins

I’m only missing These Boots Are Made for Walking, eh?

So, I’ve been in a pretty blue funk. This is how I saw it: work keeps getting worse, day after day. Since my job was eliminated in March, I’m about as effective as a one-armed paper hanger. My thousands of interviews are going nowhere. I have no way out. All the friends I once had here have either moved on, or have stopped being friendly, leaving me with a very lean support system.

Every day it’s been this litany, over and over, like a tape on repeat. Coming in to work was hard, even painful. Even my workspace was unfriendly. I half moved out of my cube sometime around the holidays, in hopes I’d be gone by the Roe v. Wade anniversary, and have not wholly been here since – literally and figuratively. It was dusty and everywhere I turned were reminders of the former job.

I am excellent at forcing sufferings upon myself.

And then, it just happened. I took myself by the shoulders, and shook myself until my little head began to joggle dangerously. Yes, work is bad. Yes it is. Now, are you going to let it kill you, or what? Get a grip, girl. Take responsibility for yourself!

So then, I undertook an overhaul of my attitudes, my cube, and my goals. I started – finally! – taking down all the stuff on my cube walls pertaining to my old job, threw away scads of irrelevant crap, gave another load of pertinent stuff to a team member who could use it, and made the place cute again. I brought in posters of The Monkees and Tori Amos and Yevgeny Yevtushenko and Elvis Costello and filled the empty spaces. I cleaned out my files and the bins on my desk top, sorted and shredded and cleaned and stacked. I opened the blinds in my rattly window and noticed that the Fountain was back on.

I reclaimed my space at the office, starting digging into my pointless busy work with something like enthusiasm, and took responsibility for my own happiness.

Then, guess what?
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